Aren’t there

I woke this morning and went to hold your hand
but you weren’t there.
I made my morning cupa and went to ask what you’d like
but you weren’t there.
I got the dogs sorted and Jess went to find you
but you weren’t there.
I got dressed to get out and wanted to kiss you goodbye
but you weren’t there.
I did my shift and went to call to let you know I was on my way
but you weren’t there.
I got home, opened the door to see your chair
but you weren’t there.
I wanted to tell you about a few things that happened
but you weren’t there.
Some people left me loving messages I wanted to share
but you weren’t there
It's is cold and bare
because you're not there

No more

No more your warmth
No more that infectious smile

So much your heart you shared
So much you gave and cared

No more your eyes so bright
No more the unsteady gait to steady

Sweet memories you made and left
Sweet memories to all you gave

No more pain to bare
No more your call for help

No more you’re there

Crying on the inside

The sharp enduring pain of now,
rips apart the outer shell,
the pains of past,
exposed.

Pierced to the core,
past trauma bleeds out,
ousing, contaminating.
The bandages of the years,
inadequate and soaked.

On the inside I cry,
the well of tears dry.
No sound I make,
no show to see,
no stop to take,
no time for me.