Wednesday 20 December 2017

84 days

Seven million empty ticks,
  just a lonely moment ago.
One weary trudge, the path dark,
  unclear, tangled and overgrown.
A plethora of memories,
  for uneasy company,
Two wells of grief,
  it's bitter sting burning the cheeks.
Zero,  solace coerced
  voids where once there were none.
Uncounted, the moments that pass,
  the moments to get through.
84 stark reminders,
  the familiar morning jolt.
Two thousand hours,
  one hundred thousand minutes,
The passage of each,
  carved in the sands of loss. 

Friday 20 October 2017

Force unseen

The eagle soars high above the mountain,
the unseen wind of destruction elsewhere,
propels her forward with majesty and grace.

Facing into a thousand storms, unmoved,
the cliff stands firm against them all,
carved by time, she still stands tall.

The scorched ground hugs close to mother earth,
her back exposed, black and burnt,
gives rise to fresh signs of growth,
now the fire has gone.

The cleft tree split in two,
once stood in resplendent growth,
she grows once more, bows new and fresh,
the visiting lightening, long gone.

The rock, her back exposed,
washed with ocean force,
the water pooled, leaks slowly out,
now the storm is moving on.

The horses thunder across the plain,
the threat unseen and long away,
they run now, beauty in their form.

The ocean falls and rises,
its choreographer the moon,
the unseen force of gravity,
it’s dance directs.

Your steadfast love,
through sickness and death,
clings strong to my heart,
in bonds unseen.

Sunday 1 October 2017

What I wouldn’t give

What I wouldn’t give to see you again,
To gaze into your eyes once more,
To watch you are you go about your day,
doing the things you do…

What I wouldn’t give to feel with you,
the warm summer evening in the setting sun,
the blustery wind coming off the rough sea
and the bumpy road to get there…

What I wouldn’t give to hear you one more time
to speak, to laugh, to cuss and whisper…

What I wouldn’t give to tell you about my day,
of many things, to bring home news, a story
and to listen to you tell me yours…

What I wouldn’t give to touch you one more time,
to feel your soft finger tips against mine,
your warmth, your hair, your embrace…

What I would give to watch you sleep one more time…

What I wouldn’t give to kiss you one more time,
To say I love you. “I love you too”

Saturday 30 September 2017

Aren’t there

I woke this morning and went to hold your hand
but you weren’t there.
I made my morning cupa and went to ask what you’d like
but you weren’t there.
I got the dogs sorted and Jess went to find you
but you weren’t there.
I got dressed to get out and wanted to kiss you goodbye
but you weren’t there.
I did my shift and went to call to let you know I was on my way
but you weren’t there.
I got home, opened the door to see your chair
but you weren’t there.
I wanted to tell you about a few things that happened
but you weren’t there.
Some people left me loving messages I wanted to share
but you weren’t there
It's is cold and bare
because you're not there

Thursday 28 September 2017

No more

No more your warmth
No more that infectious smile

So much your heart you shared
So much you gave and cared

No more your eyes so bright
No more the unsteady gait to steady

Sweet memories you made and left
Sweet memories to all you gave

No more pain to bare
No more your call for help

No more you’re there

Monday 4 September 2017

Crying on the inside

The sharp enduring pain of now,
rips apart the outer shell,
the pains of past,
exposed.

Pierced to the core,
past trauma bleeds out,
ousing, contaminating.
The bandages of the years,
inadequate and soaked.

On the inside I cry,
the well of tears dry.
No sound I make,
no show to see,
no stop to take,
no time for me.

Thursday 13 July 2017

Dear Ann

To you  it was a simple slip
To me   it was a cut so deep
To you  the moment passed
To me   it didn’t pass
To you  you forgot about it
To me   the moment hung heavy
To you  I doubt you’d remember anyway
To me   I can not forget it happened
To you  it’s just a pronoun

Saturday 1 April 2017

Never got to be

Your thirteenth birthday you didn’t see,
you never got to be.
Just once i got to meet your he.

Constrained your life the mould to fit,
Your you not to exhibit,
I understand you had to quit.

So much more I wanted to do,
But tied my hands, of that you knew,
I will remember you.

I will remember you.

Thursday 16 March 2017

That Moment

In stunned silence I stand.
kids and parents around,
unaware.

They seem to fill all the space, crowding me,
alone.

Crazy paving at my feet,
the soles of my feet sensing the gaps,
broken thoughts in my head,
chasms in my soul,
confused.

The smell of roses, cut grass in the sun,
warmth on my back,
cold.

The sound of the birds, wheeling swifts,
rustling leaves in the trees,
silence.

Me, identity,
questioned, broken.