This is love. Losing you?

My love, boundless, is not enough to take away your pain,

that pangs cross your face.

You smile so broad, interleaved with loss these days,

your eyes of love, tortured.

Four wet cheeks struggle to comprehend the forthcoming loss,

grieving for what will come to pass.

You lived your life, caring, your heart for people strong,

the cruel fate of genetics rendering your heart so weak.

For a fleeting moment in our lives, we came together,

love so strong, souls at home, one,

To be ripped apart, unyielding,

love to endure the ages.

The looming emptiness, once more to face,

the loss incomprehendable to bare.

Each day a gift once more, to love and be loved.

My heart is tearing, ripped and sharded,

breaking to the inevitable,

in tatters it struggles.

The light of your eyes I will remember,

it lit the way of love unconditional,

as day by day you fade, I set the view for ever.

The fight is ebbing from you, it’s burden too much,

the tie to go approaches.

We love for one more day for today we have,

we love.

Do you know my name?

I knew myself, you still don't know me.

I just wanted to be myself, you had other plans.
I told you everything, you heard nothing.
I needed to be, you wanted me out of your lives.
I trusted you, you threw it away.
I knew no difference, you knew better.
I was only eight, you were childish.
I understood the cost, you saw no value.
You abandoned me, I had to stand by myself.
I suffered alone, you saw nothing.
You were no comfort, I cried in isolation.
I tried to die, to you I did.
I stood tall, an embarrassment to you.
I feel the loss, you lost sight.
I know love, will you ever?
I had to walk away, you gave marching orders.
I know how little I know, you gave empty lectures.
I am open, you couldn't be more closed.
You were not invited in, you barged anyway.
In spite of you, I miss you.
I forgave you, you blamed me.
I live, are you alive?
Your names are Mum and Dad.
Do you know my name?

Reflections of Hope

I sit upon the bench of now,
I gaze across the mill pool of the past.
The ripples of events dropping into life, spread out
Their interactions line up as dots on a line
Precisely forming straight lines
The path unwavering

The other way one looks,
chaos of choice and consequence
a thicket of tangled brambles
the fruit alluring amongst the sting of thorns

The tranquility of now,
the gentle warmth, a glow
no regrets in the present
no worry in the current

Which way to go, the path unclear
to step out, we must
to trust, we have no choice
to know, looking back
the events, joined dots will form
and so we step and trust we must
there is no other way

Overload

All. None.
Everything and nothing,
Violated, emotions cut to the quick.
Raw and exposed, bruised and broken.
Ripped.
Miserable and disconnected,
Anger. Tears!
Cried out,  forlorn, prostrate, numb.
Anchor, dredging the sands of feels.
Too much.

This is love. Worry.

The unthinkable. Thought.

The unimaginable. Imagined

The colourful fabric of the mind,

Greyed, clawed, torn and ripped.

The icy walled cavern of loss, scaled.

Repetitiously. Recursively. Over and over.

The mind ever increasingly processes,

 in ever decreasing circles.

"What if?" Unanswerable. Re-answered.

The battle field of the mind,

the real and un-real come together,

spilling out, made physical,

a damp cheek.

This is love. Caring

The familiar stench of beige

The yearn for peace amidst the confusion of noise

The sting of waiting stabs at love's side

The wane of emotion, inability to do

The taste of frustration, the sour smell of pain

The inveitable side slide of time

Strained smiles, tense brows

The cry of machine pings, tug

The creeping onset on numb

Lead air, hanging like cold air baloons

Terms too familiar and foreign, harmogonise

The cold comfort and uncomfort of sit

The cycle endless of stand, pace and sit

The long dark wait time of seeming for-never

Coffee by coffee, dank stench hangs

The cloak of nothingness encroaches and shrouds

The pain of watched pain

Felt, bruising, cutting and intense

Love, expanding, torn and ripped

Tears un-watered spring forth inside

Brave faces and hearts, continue contnuing

The never endng prospect of waiting

This is love. Home sick

Twines of love, holding strong,

tearing the fabric of feels.

Lost,the yearning of the soul,

pained and exhausted.

The loss of being away,

peircing the emotions.

The gentle caress of the one,

loudly missing.

Glimpses of ones love,

fleetingly far away

The senses of eyes and ears

denied to touch, smell and taste

The sound of their voice,

comfortingly brief

Unheld, the days morph,

seemlessly towards limpness of the being

Close, yet far away,

dichotomy internalised.

The eons of soon, 

impossibly long

Elasticity of time,

stretched taught, springless

Emptiness of the night, 

aloneness, void

Passion, held hostage

to the vastness of distance

yet, undaunted, the heart holds strong

the sweet purfume of love, effervescently present

permeates the all

excitement builds, time quickens and slows

uncertain of is passage, its direction challenged

brutal an sweet

explosion of passion, the sweet kiss of arrival

balance resored, silken smooth

home is my heart

balance restored

passion, pent of time

set free