That Moment

In stunned silence I stand.
kids and parents around,
unaware.

They seem to fill all the space, crowding me,
alone.

Crazy paving at my feet,
the soles of my feet sensing the gaps,
broken thoughts in my head,
chasms in my soul,
confused.

The smell of roses, cut grass in the sun,
warmth on my back,
cold.

The sound of the birds, wheeling swifts,
rustling leaves in the trees,
silence.

Me, identity,
questioned, broken.

Escape

You saw my love and took it,
ground it in to the dust,
day by day you eroded it
left it at the roadside, dead.
You saw my soul and ground it down,
until withered, spent it lay
nothing more it had
yet take you did,
my all not enough for you
your appetite unmet.
At last the loss I stopped.
my essence, hemorrhaged,
broken and blamed,
I walked, saving the embers
and yet the 'unfed' comes,
again, to dine,
trying to bite at each turn,
the feast denied.

Snubbed

You left this world, at your hand,
The pain too much,
The outlook stark, unyielding
Your light snubbed out,
So young at heart,
You barely found your true self,
Revealing your beautiful soul,
You inner self expressed at last,
but no one got to know.
No help you found only hate.
We had to cry goodbye,
mourn the one we didn’t get to know,
the one that should have been,
the one that no one saw
So much life to come,
gone.

This again

The inevitable looms once again,
the click of the needle in the broken grove.
Deja-vu deja-vus again,
the searing prod of pain cuts deep once more,
reopening the scars of yester years,
tearing, ripping.
The years unkind amplifications of echoes past,
the memories mixed,
the roller coaster once more embarked, enforced.
The time of year, a passive assailant,
a stark unyielding reminder,
thrust coldly into the heart.
Feels precisely violated.
No reprieve.
Destiny of hope remains,
towards a change in future sojourns.
The flickering flame stays lit,
the focus,
amidst the storm time.

Shock

Numb. Nothing. Too much.
From nowhere comes the unexpected,
piercing to the soul,
The embers of the past,
stoke, poked and fuelled.
Flaring.

Waves on the pond of feels,
rolling out to the edges of memory.
Experiences past and shelved,
awakened, reflected.
The chaos of it all,
tossing the emotions.
Storm.

Erupting from the core,
after an age of silence.
Tears roll.
Torn and ruptured,
the mind un moored.
The body lost,
Breathe.

The stillness erupts,
tense, fresh, foreign.
Nothingness returns,
processing time.
The quiet numbness,
throbs to the beat,
for now.
Shock.

What next?

Not broken

Our bodies, broken,

betrayed by genetics and biology,

worn out and ground down by cruel time.

Our characters grew, our souls learnt.

Our souls found each other, 

our beings, love, enevitable,

complete, our everythings connected.

We didn't fall in love with each others bodies,

their brokenness, unimportant,

but vessels for our beings, our souls,

toys of enjoyment with and for each other.

Connected, our love grows,

deepening with the gift of time.

We love each other for who,

for character, for soul, for all,

so vastly, the universe is full.

Soul mates outside of time.

We love.

This is love. Going...

Driving home again

The rain pounds on the road a reflection of the rain in my heart.

I had to leave you again,

Alone, scared, frightened I know you are, struggling to keep going.

Sleep, lost

as I try to make sense of everything, trying to unravel the day

Familiar, the bed

missing you, it feels so vast and enpty, a shadow of us

Your touch,

far away, ever close in heart, we feel touched

Disconncted by geogrophy

connection in our souls, our love holds on spanning the eons of distance

Want and need

the calling out to each other, the life line of our love

Till next time

the yearning pangs of pain to bare, waiting. 

To sleep

i must surrender unwillingly dispite my need for rest

Tomorrow

A new day, love, to hold and lift you up. We go on.