This is love. Real

it comes, the time not known
challenged, our deepest feels
tormented, our being
bump, hit hard
loss, contemplated
pain, caused and felt
moment, reality of feel
terms, we approach them
time, sluggish and unyielding
waiting, viscous and sticky
guilt, heavy and hard
words, inadequately limited
apology, humbly sincere
grace, undeserved and comforting
relief, crumpling
real, known

Child of Mine, Spent

Child of Mine

July approaches again

the poignant annual reminder

birth day

i know you

your first moments of life,

i looked into your eyes

as you started taking in everything

the new light of wonder

sounds of life, you heard

with your senses fresh 

untainted, my voice you listened

my face, my smile, my tears 

you felt my saline joy dripped upon you

you clasped my finger with your hand

your delicate strength gripping hard

upon your feet you placed weight

your first sense of upright movement

your giggle, a memory unfaded

like so many moments

faltering steps you took,

you bounced, yet rolled

propelled by determination

you tried, the room you crossed

strength grew, motion increased

steps, stairs, speed you conquered

steps to walk, walk to run

investigative spirit triumphed

everything worthy of tactile trial

nothing left untouched, unreached

ingenuity grew, your mind a playground

of thought and questions

your surroundings your teacher

fluffy stuff that moved

you handled, ran, looked

you play, you feed

feathers, feet, paws and pads

you knew them all, felt them

the dirt and grass shared

time spend 

questions, answers, mind inquiring

the gift of reading taught

green eggs and ham, zike bikes and the like

pooh and piglet, alice 

with intent you listened, 

you learnt 

to school, your days away from home

your sponge filled

you grew, friends you made

life you lived, carved out

your likes and dislikes formed

interests found and tried

and discarded 

growth of mind and spirit

what happened next?

how dark your world?

light found?

life continued

what did you do? 

and how?

how many firsts? and lasts?

who are you now?

eighteen years passed by

yet yesterday it feels

the last i saw your eyes, your soul

the you i knew

i loved you then,

through everything,

i love you still

fade it hasn't

nor will it.

tomorrow comes and goes

thoughts of you skip through my heart

light footed, free spirited

dance, bounce, joyful

for each tomorrow brings hope

a word to get, a picture to see

to hear you, to meet you

your light came into the world,

bright, strong and white

in my life it persists

unflickering, untainted

the perfect you-ness

moments of you, my surroundings suppressed

all senses giving way to feels

completely, bonds unbroken

saline drops, you inspired

fall not upon you this time

yet

time passes, eonic 

i await, 

ever, ever patient

Spent

my emotions, too much

erupt the tears

the saline well boils over

the feels, the hurts

swollen, my heart

torn once again

bruised and cracked

tears flow, falling

unending 

pain infused

my breathing limps

faltering

infinite nothing 

surrounds

a moment, forever

tears flow no more

regularity of breathing returns

slowly

eyes tired

sore, dry

embers of pain

remain

again

undying

my body spent

my emotions raw

bled out once more

the wound 

fresh covered

for now

the saline well burbles

yet

the spring

unstoppable

it seems

too much

still

i see, yet see nothing

i hear, yet hear nothing

life happens, around me

i hurt

spent

the well

still

This is love. Helplessness

so much that could be done

so nothing that can be done

so close

so far away

my heart pulls to want

but nothing that can

words i give freely

thoughts and feels

expressed, said

told

all i have, i give

to express

in hope, in try

i want to do, anything

something, but nothing

i can't actually do

i just can't can't do

to trust, to hope

to yearn, to want

to oh so want

but, but, but...

it tugs, it hurts,

the nothingness of wanting

the everything of can't

words to expresses

my thoughts, my struggles

to turmoil, the agony

the have to leave it

separation

can't

want

can't

the helplessness

This is love. Waiting.

it's coming

time, to spend

to be with

long overdue

sweet taste of time

together

jittery, imminence 

to express, to show

to be, at one

with her, my love

the waiting, over

in sight

close, so close

counting down, reducing

it's coming

can't wait

so needed, so wanted

peace, care

so soon, touchable

anticipation, excitement

time stretches

almost

This is love. Is like

my love is like...

...honey, sweet and delicious
...the dawn chorus, full of life
...the sunrise, full of promise and warmth
...a running dog, free and happy
...the flowing river, free flowing
...the blossom of spring, fragrant, fresh, delightful
...snow, pure, unique, gentle
...a cloud, care free, dynamic
...a dog bark, public, noticed
...the morning dew, soothing
...ice, refreshing and solid
...footprints in the sand, familiar, there
...the evening warmth, embracing
...the first rain of summer, full or anticipation
...the feel of new sheets, divinely comfortable
...flowers delivered, exciting
...a new place, to be discovered
...the sunrise, familiar, warm, shimmering
...the sea, bold crashes of freshness
...the smell of fresh cut grass, sweet
...an emptied plate, satisfying
...a meal, nourishing
...music, absorbing
...good book, enthralling and gripping
...an old oak tree, strong and proud
...the first coffee of the day, invigorating
...a butterfly, delicate and beauty full
...the night sky, expansive and sparkling
...a good night's sleep, restful
...a forest clearing, private and tranquil
...music, emotion full
...the best thing ever

Overwhelming

another day,

far too far away.

like every other day away,

missing her.

but today the pull,

it feels too much.

far too far away,

far too much time gone by.

the tug too great,

the strings too taught.

too much it strains,

too little it feels.

yet far too much.

the waves of missing her,

crash through me.

the storm of being away,

like thunder through me cracks.

elastically, the days elongate,

snapping back to reality.

overwhelmingly, alone.

yet the tendons of love,

tightly hold,

solid the rock,

love, the foundation.

perfection.

This is love. Your light

your light warms my heart
ray by ray opening my life
vanquishing hurts of the past
once torn fissures gaping
gently healing over smoothly

your light caresses my soul
still it lies, in comfort
no more its tears to shed
no more in pieces
whole again, content

your light shows the path
a future to be seen
no longer out of sight
envisioned, real, grasped
side by side, together

your light shines from within
pouring from your eyes, inviting
from your mind, exciting
from you being, enticing
enveloping, completing

your light bathes me clean
like the fresh rains of spring
washing away the hanging smog
no longer dry and hard
soft, sweet, relief

your light hugs me tight
tenderness of close
arms strong embracing
moment upon moment
peace, still, soothed

your light, your heart
caring, open, inviting
unconditional, giving
vulnerable, loved
tender, loving